OK. Lilly, you ready for your first day?
Aye aye, captain. Full speed ahead.
Like a submarine, 'cause we're in a sub shop.
My sandwiches are better than my jokes.
Good. 'Cause you're my first hire as assistant manager
and if you look good, then I look good.
And if you don't look good...
...don't go there, Dwight, don't go there...
...don't go there.
Well, someone looks hungry.
Well I wasn't.
But then I saw that girl over there, and I said to myself
"Self, you want a sandwich made by her."
Well, I only hire the best! Showtime!
Hello, and welcome to The Smiling Sub,
where every order comes with chuckling chips
- and a large giddy gulp. - Nice!
Enjoy your meal. Don't blow it.
She'll be fine. She'll be fine! She'll be fine.
Oh my gosh, you look so cute! Here...
Say, "Ham and cheese!"
Ham and cheese!
And after a few paychecks
and some generous tips, wink-wink,
you can take one of me and Oliver
buying our brand new used car!
Now, what can I get you, Miss?
I'll have a footlong, toasted,
with roast beef, turkey and provolone,
provolone on top,
mustard and mayo on the bottom,
three shakes salt, half a shake pepper
and some oil and vinegar on the meat, but not on the bun.
I hate when it gets soggy.
What part of "my first day" did you not get?
I'll take a ham and cheese.
Coming right up!
One ham and cheese...
Oh. Oh, no wait, that's not even.
OK. Alright, lets see. OK. Closer, but not good enough.
It doesn't have to be perfect.
You know what? You're absolutely right.
But this one is! Oh wait, hang on.
OK, perfect!
Now two slices of ham. One, two...
Oh, hang on, it's hanging over.
Is there anyone else who can help me?
Oh, I'll be right with you.
Come on. You can just shove the ham in there.
Uh, it's not like that in the picture.
You know I'm thinking this may be a defective bun.
Oh, come on!
Hey! Back off. It's her first day.
-Just shove the ham in. -Fine.
OK, two slices of cheese...Oh, that is not right.
My break's almost over.
Let's go!
Uh, what's going on out here?
She's taking forever!
Hey, I told you to back off!
I can handle this, thank you.
She'll be right with you. Just make the sandwich!
OK, fine! I mean, you're the boss!
Who cares what it looks like?
Forget about quality, forget about pride in your work,
just mash it together!
There! There's my first sandwich.
- Take a picture of that! - Thank you.
No no no! It's hideous!
Don't wrestle with the customer!
It's my first sandwich!
And your last!
But I was saving up for a car.
Fine.
You can keep your tips.
You get the limo out front
Hottest styles. Every shoe, every color
Yeah, when you're famous, it can be kind of fun
It's really you but no one ever discovers
Who would have thought that a girl like me
Would double as a superstar
You get the best of both worlds
Chill it out Take it slow
Then you rock out the show
You get the best of both worlds
Mix it all together and you know
That it's the best of both worlds
Hannah Montana S03E27 Got To Get Her Out Of My House
Hey, girls! Lilly, how was your first day on the job?
I mean, I hear you and Oliver are saving up to buy a new car.
OK, who wants a ham and cheese?
I'm sorry honey, he came with the house.
Don't worry, we'll get you another job.
I applied for thirty before I got this one.
And the only reason I got it was because my dumb boss
had a grandmother named Lilly and I totally used it.
"Oh, land sake's alive,
aren't you adorable. Here's my application."
Oh! My eyes!
What was that?!
I think the new housekeeper just found Jackson's room.
The horror!
Aw, c'mon buddy, you were a Navy Seal.
You ain't gonna let a little dirt scare ya off, are ya?
I took out my own appendix with a wet wipe,
dental floss and a rusty spoon
and I never shed a tear.
But that room.
I gotta sleep with the lights on tonight.
That's it!
Another brave one bites the dust. This ends now.
There you are.
Oh, sweet filthy flippin' niblets son,
all we need is a tire on a swing
and I could sell tickets to see The Malibu Monkey Boy!
Listen, you're in college now,
it's time to start thinking, acting and living like an adult.
- Jackson? - Oh...
...sorry, Dad.
I was just thinking about how cool it'd be
if I really were half man and half monkey.
I mean, check it out.
I'd have a driver's license,
and I'd be able to drive with my feet!
Hey, you, get out of the way!
You just love to test me, don't you, big guy?
Come on, Dad. We'll find another housekeeper.
Son, that's the fifth one
that's ran screaming out of the house this year!
You think it's so easy, you find one.
I'll do it.
What?
Great, you're hired.
You're welcome.
And you're ugly.
- Dummy say what? - What?
Heh! Dummy.
Are you sure you wanna be a housekeeper?
Well, it's not my first choice,
but if Oliver and I are gonna buy a car, I need a job.
But Lilly,
won't it be a little strange cleaning up after us?
Why not? I mean, I'm here all the time anyway,
I know where everything goes.
It's true.
And Dad, let's face it, I mean,
she's the only housekeeper that we're gonna find
that's already immune to Jackson stank.
See? Her eyes don't even water anymore.
Honey, please don't stir it up!
So, are you cool with it?
Honey, if it gets the sting outta my eyes,
she can have your grandmother's wedding ring.
...yeah, but I really need this job. You know, you see,
Me and my girlfriend are trying to buy a car together and...
OK, well can you put me on the waiting list?
Fantastic! OK, thank you.
How's the job search going?
Great! If 32 people ahead of me all win the lottery,
you're lookin' at the new scooper
trainee at Yippy Yummy Yogurt
Don't worry, buddy. Just keep your eyes open.
You never know when a job will just pop up.
Oh, excuse me while I move my New Jackson Wanted sign
to where some lucky potential employee might see it.
Oh, I'm not working for you.
Why not?
For the same reason no one wants to work for you
ever since Jackson quit for college.
Rico, you're a horrible person.
That is so not true.
Excuse me,
I only have 99 cents,
but could I get the dollar bottle of water?
Who do I look like, the water fairy?
You need a penny, sell your hair!
Cute little guy. So, when you wanna start?
Ah, forget it.
But, Oliver, you have to.
If you don't, I'll have to face my girlfriend,
tell her I can't afford my half of the car,
I'm a complete loser and...
Oh, wait, that's not me, that's you.
You're despicable.
Welcome aboard.
Who's the cleanest plant in Malibu? You are! Yes, you are!
- Whoa. - Oh my gosh.
Lilly, this place looks amazing!
It's OK?
Are you kidding me?
Lulu! She smells so lemony fresh!
And the couch! It doesn't smell so...
...Jacksony ripe!
Lilly, I love you!
Oh, well I'm just doing my job.
Oh, Mr. Stewart, I hope you don't mind,
when I cleaned your bathroom,
I reorganized all your hair products in order of application
from a pre-rinse to shampoo to...
- Volumizing mousse? - Volumizing mousse.
Oh, yeah!
If you ladies will excuse me,
I'm gonna go shampoo now.
I gotta admit, I was kinda worried about the whole thing,
but it's working out perfectly.
What?
Well, it's just that, you know, things look so nice,
and then the purse and the scarf...
No, no. It's fine! It's your house.
You should be comfortable.
Cool.
Now what?
Well, it's just umm...
...you know, the cushions were plumped...
No, you know, it's fine!
I'll just clean it all over again on Thursday.
What happened to "I should be comfortable?"
You're right, I'll stop.
Let me just get those Hannah hairs
before they wind up on my clean rug.
Yeah, that would be tragic.
Oh, yes!
Movie time!
Ooh, butter.
"Ooh, butter" what?
It's just, you know, butter, it's a stain waiting to happen.
A grease stain! Oh, they're the worst.
And I don't care.
Good girl.
Leave extra time to scrub couch.
And clothes I just washed today.
Fine. I won't eat the popcorn.
Happy?
This isn't working!
Well, maybe if you ate in the kitchen like a person.
Look, although you are an unbelievable housekeeper,
maybe Dad was right. Maybe you working for us is kind of,
I don't know, strange.
- Oh, not for me. - Really?
- Really. - Really?
Unless you have a problem with it.
Because I mean I totally need this job.
No! It's not me.
It's my dad!
He's actually just not as happy as he made you think.
Ah!
Bless you, Lilly.
He's way happier.
I mean look at this!
I forgot he even had a floor! And this chair!
I thought we lost it in the move.
Yeah, I didn't even see it at first, either.
I mean it was buried under pizza so old
there were mushrooms growing out of the mushrooms.
Lilly Truscott, I'm giving you a raise!
Thank you, Mr. Stewart!
Uh, new car here I come! Isn't that great, Miley?
Super!
My room!
Oh, you're welcome.
For what? It's horrible!
Where's my petrifiedsweat sock sculpture?
Where's Mashed Potato Mountain?
Where's... Hey, I thought we lost that chair in the move.
Hey, you got any advice
for getting the burnt crusty pork off my barbecue?
- Too late! - You didn't.
I did!
Yeah. She probably even dusted the charcoal.
I even dusted the charcoal! Come see!
I'm gettin' my camera!
- I cleaned the lens! - You didn't!
- I did! - Oh!
Socks in drawers,
shirts on hangers, it's madness!
I can't live like this.
That neat freak has to go!
You know, I don't really want to say this but, you're right.
Ow, that actually hurt. But she does need a job.
So just get her her old job back.
Yeah, like I could...
Actually, Jackson, that's a great idea.
Ow, two in a row.
Here you go and thank you for choosing Rico's.
Three cheers for the generous tipper! Hip-hip...
- Hey-o! - Hip-hip...
- Hey-o! - What are you doing?
Oh, we're cheering on the tipper.
It's a crowd pleaser. Watch this.
Hip-hip...
Hey-o!
You see that?
OK, first,
I own the exclusive North American rights to the "hey-o!"
Second, why are you happy?
You're not supposed to be happy! You work for me!
You know what? It's not so bad.
I mean I'm on the beach all day, everyone's friendly,
and every hour that I'm working for you,
I'm an hour closer to getting my new car.
I don't like your attitude, mister.
Jackson was miserable every minute he was here
and I loved it.
Oh, seeing his pain was like waking up on Christmas morning
to find all those presents under the tree.
Where are my presents?!
I want my presents!
I don't know!
Sorry to disappoint you man, but I like this job.
Oh, we'll see about that!
Because I will have my Christmas morning!
Mwah-hah-hah-hah!
I own that, too.
Oh, you missed some bird poop over there.
Oh, cool. Hey, thanks Rico.
Oh, come on! What can you possibly like about this?
I can see Lilly cleaning the Stewart's house from here.
Hey, Lilly! She saw me! She saw me!
She saw me!
She did! She did! She's right there.
I was mocking you!
I know! And you're cute when you're mad!
Well, I'm about to get adorable!
Come to Rico's for good food
It will brighten up your mood
And if you think that I'm a fool
Please tell everyone at school
Why are you still happy?
You're dressed as a penguin, you're sweating like a pig.
You should be miserable!
Miserable?
Dude, I just lost the last three pounds
I needed to get in my skinny jeans.
Now, when I say "foxy" you say "penguin!" Foxy!
- Penguin! - Foxy!
- Penguin! - Stop it!
- Foxy! - Penguin!
- Foxy! -Penguin!
Enjoy your meal.
Uh, excuse me, sir. What are you doing?
Sorry pal, this shop is closed.
Here, why don't you go next door and get yourself
a nice soup in a sourdough bowl.
And if you hear any screaming
emanating from this establishment,
just eat your soup.
Hey! That was my...
But I could...
I just...
Yo, Adrian. We're good to go.
Thanks, Fredo.
Hello, Dwight. How you doin'?
Do I know you?
No, but I know youse.
You are the deeply confused young man
who mistakenly fired my little girl.
Fredo, help our friend sit down.
You're Lilly Truscott's mom?
Incorrect, my friend.
I'm her godmother.
Not yet.
You sure? That felt like the right place to throw that...
- Fredo! - Sorry, boss.
He's one layer short of a lasagna
if you know what I'm sayin'.
Yeah, lasagna, that's good.
That wasn't a joke.
Sorry.
Do I amuse you?
Do you think of me as some kind of clown?
Please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me...
Relax, Dwight, there's no need to get hurt here.
All you gotta do's is call Lilly and offer her her job back.
But I'm not sure I can do that.
Listen, I got a question for youse.
Are you fond of your kneecaps?
I said are you fond of your kneecaps?
Sorry.
My sister's kid. What are you gonna do?
So, what's it gonna be?
Lilly here or you taking a little walk with Fredo?
Lilly?
Good kid.
Now you go call that girl
and make her an offer that she can't refuse.
And remembers, we were never here.
- Never. - OK.
Badda bing?
Badda boom.
- Miley? - Badda busted.
What are you guys doing here?
Just getting a sandwich.
Dressed like that?
Uh, I just came back from my uh...
Uh, video shoot.
Yeah, for my new... for my new single.
Called uh...
Mobster Mama!
Yeah, it's super cool.
You should hear it.
Why don't you sing her a little?
I'm a mobster mama
She's mean, she's tough She's a monster mama
Don't make me get rough 'cause I can do my stuff
Like Julianne Hough, hey!
Break it down!
Miley.
Fine.
The truth is... Dad was right.
Having you work for us was a little ookie
and we were just trying to get your job back.
You're kidding! I came down here to get my job back
'cause I felt the same way.
Why didn't you tell me?
I didn't want to hurt you. Really? Aw.
Oh. This is so sweet
it reminds me of my favorite episode of .
Well, I guess I better go try and get my job back.
Oh, nope!
That's already taken care of.
And, think you're even gettin' a raise.
- Really? - Yo, Dwight!
And I think you should give the girl a raise!
Yes, Godmother!
- Good boy! - Thank you, Miley.
Oh, you know what? I better call your dad.
I'm already on it.
I'm sure he'll be fine.
He's a big boy. He can take care of himself.
No, Jackson, no! She can't do this to me!
Please, please, please, please!
And it smells so fresh!
Come on dude it's not so bad
Just 'cause you can't make me mad
Jump in Rico sing along Join me in my jolly...
Enough!
You win. Your happiness has broken me.
Now get out of my sight.
Go back to your stupid girlfriend.
What did you call Lilly?
Stupid.
A dumb, pathetic...
Oh!
...squeaky voiced loser.
Nobody talks about my Lillypop like that!
- Come here! - Dopey! Stinky!
Whiny!
That's it! When I get my hands on you!
Yes! I'm being chased by an angry penguin employee!
Merry Christmas, everyone!